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Microsoft and Boeing Announce Groundbreaking Partnership: OpenAI Meets Clippy!
Seattle, WA — April 2, 2024
In a stunning turn of events, Microsoft and Boeing have inked a deal that will redefine the aerospace industry. The joint venture, codenamed “Project SkyClip,” promises to revolutionize air travel by merging cutting-edge artificial intelligence with the nostalgic charm of a bygone era.
The Terms and Conditions:
OpenAI Access All Areas: Boeing gains unrestricted access to Microsoft’s ongoing partnership with OpenAI. Forget about those pesky NDAs—Boeing engineers can now cozy up to GPT-9 at the virtual water cooler. Whether they’re discussing aerodynamics or existential dread, OpenAI is all ears.
Clippy Takes Flight: Remember Clippy, the animated paperclip that haunted your early Microsoft Office days? Well, he’s back, and this time he’s got wings! Boeing now holds exclusive rights to Clippy’s services. Imagine the possibilities: “It looks like you’re trying to land a 787. Need assistance?”
The Omnipotent and the Innocent: Boeing’s masterstroke lies in combining the seemingly omnipotent OpenAI framework with the familiar innocence of Clippy. Picture this: As your flight encounters turbulence, Clippy pops up on the in-flight entertainment screen: “It looks like you’re plummeting. Would you like help stabilizing?”
Quotes from the CEOs:
Satya Nadella (Microsoft): “We believe in democratizing AI. And what better way to do that than by pairing a language model that can write Shakespearean sonnets with a paperclip that once helped you format a Word document?”
David L. Calhoun (Boeing): “Our planes will now be smarter than ever. Clippy will soothe passengers during turbulence, and OpenAI will calculate the optimal angle for that tricky takeoff. It’s a match made in aviation heaven.”
Public Reaction:
Initial reactions have been mixed. Some passengers are thrilled about Clippy’s return, while others are concerned about his propensity for unsolicited advice. One frequent flyer commented, “I just hope Clippy doesn’t pop up during an emergency landing and say, ‘It looks like you’re crashing. Want assistance?’”
What’s Next?
Boeing plans to retrofit its fleet with Clippy-enabled cockpits. Passengers can expect personalized messages like, “It looks like you’re flying to Paris. Bon voyage!” or “It looks like you’re spiraling into existential dread. Buckle up!”
About Microsoft: Microsoft (Nasdaq: MSFT) empowers every person and organization on the planet to achieve more. Except for Clippy—he’s just here for the memes.
About Boeing: Boeing (NYSE: BA) designs, builds, and sells airplanes. Now, with Clippy’s help, they’ll also design witty in-flight safety pamphlets.
Disclaimer: This press release is a work of satire. Clippy is not actually piloting any aircraft. Please fasten your seatbelts and enjoy the flight.
🌐 Read more about Project SkyClip
Contact: Press Relations Email: press@skyclip.com Phone: 1-800-CLIPPY
Follow us on Twitter: @SkyClipAero
Like us on Facebook: facebook.com/SkyClipAero
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Note to editors: High-resolution images of Clippy in aviator goggles are available upon request.
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